Not all dogs are poodles.

So the other day, we took our kids to the park. I hope, sincerely, that you can't see where this is going so far.

It was innocent enough, a quick walk down the street for Crystal and the baby, and a slightly quicker run for Steven and I. The park was busy that day, with about a dozen kids in a space designed for slightly fewer.

This is a relatively new development around here, as the "play structure" (or whatever it's called) had been installed just last summer. As a matter of fact, this was my first visit, and i was immediately impressed with both the quality and size of the thing. The second thing that I noticed, unfortunately, was the graffiti.

Swastikas. "White Power". "I jizzed here".

Since it was supposed to be a nice, innocent day out with the kids, I tried not to make too big a deal out of it. Crystal noticed it, and said basically that, expressing her disappointment. In an effort to file the whole thing away for later, i snapped a few pictures with my cell phone and tried to get on with the rest of my day.

It wasn't that easy, though. Something like rage kept on boiling up inside me. It snuck up on me every time i gave it even a moments thought. Why would someone do this to our new playground? I'm well aware that the people who write these kinds of things aren't what you'd call brilliant, but on several occasions, they've shown that they can restrain themselves to some extent. To vandalize a new piece of playground equipment, though? I must have been giving them too much credit in the past.

But what to do? Write a letter? To whom? I suppose that I'd be a bit happier if the city came and cleaned it up, but would that really solve the problem? The people that do these things will just come back again and again.

So i decided that i'd try to find out who did it. Not in a Hardy Boys mystery kind of way, though. Nor would i employ the types of vigilante detectivism popularized in the Batman comics i read as a kid. I reasoned (while i should have been playing with my kids) that the best way to find an idiot is on the internet. And that was where i found them.

I'll preface this next part with this one caveat. I didn't find the specific idiot i was looking for. Not yet, anyways. What i found was something i'd long ago forgotten about. I forget about a lot of things, so if that doesn't narrow it down very much, here's a bit of back story.

Back in December of 2006, 4chan's /b/tards took offense with a few prominent racists who'd somehow managed to have a significant presence on the intertubes. One of these was a fellow named Hal Turner, who is best described as an "american white nationalist and white supremacist". Members of 4chan's (then quite young) "Anonymous" faction harassed Mr. Turner on a daily basis and many lulz were had. One of the websites, stormfront.org, that came up during the exchange caused more than it's fair share of surprise to many Anonymous. Though it had been featured in a documentary several years earlier, many 4chan users (including myself) were astounded by it's very existence.

It's mind-boggling.

It has an alexa traffic rank of 12,602. It's absolutely bustling with activity. And worse, it's full, and i mean full, of idiots.

Granted, my definition of "idiot" includes a whole lot more people than yours does. It's just the way I am. But even by the tamest of standards, these people are screwed. They can't do anything right. Anything. I could ramble on for days about these guys, but instead i'll just send you all off to check it out yourselves. The site is stormfront.org and you can read the entire site (archives and all) without joining up or becoming a member or anything. Just be careful who sees you surfing it.

So in the face of this idiocy, i noticed a trend. A commonality, similarity, whatever. The vast majority of real hard-core idiots on there use bible quotes and the like to get their point across. Don't get me wrong, i'm not saying that I've suddenly (just now) noticed that people use religion to further stupid causes. But I did just remember a quote that (even after googling it) i can't quite place.

"Not all dogs are poodles, but all poodles are dogs"

It made me wonder how many white supremacists are christian. I lack the census data or, for that matter, anything empirical to prove it; but i'll take a wild guess and say most are. Horrible scientific principle at work there, but i'd be willing to bet that i'm right. I almost fired up photoshop and made a venn diagram to describe it. But i didn't.

So then i thought "Hey, what about my people?"

How are the secular humanists doing? The SubGenii? The Pastafarians?

Again i leapt forward with absolutely no research and decided that there probably weren't that many agnostic/atheist/humanist white supremacists out there. That made me feel better immediately.

But i still had "kill everyone thats not white" scrawled across an area that my kids will be playing in all summer long. And that wasn't going to change because i'd had an epiphany about how the stupidest of our culture happen to all be of a particular faith.

So who will clean it up? Who will take the blame?

I'm going to go find a church group to do it. I believe that my argument for them doing so is valid, and that the most responsible christians always end up cleaning up the messes left by the least responsible ones, anyways.

I'm currently hoping to see how many of you can accurately opine about how this will go. Feel totally free to post comments and send this to your friends. As a matter of fact, any input would be greatly appreciated.

In a nutshell; I'm going to see if the rest of the dogs will clean up the mess that the poodles made.